We Are Changing

Almost two months. It’s difficult to say how much impact Phil and I have had on Thailand during this time. But it certainly has changed us in some interesting ways. 

Our life since Phil’s retirement over three years ago has been quiet, with few disruptions in daily schedule (except our move to Minneapolis and various occasional trips). Phil in particular has enjoyed the lack of structure and routine, focusing on trips to the gym, lots of podcasts and Korean dramas, and helping out where he can with our son and grandson, who live nearby. Early dinners and bedtime, the occasional walk on the trails or motorcycle jaunt in rural Minnesota, a good cigar and regular fires in the back yard—these mark his days at home. Though we love to welcome friends and family, Phil doesn’t mind when weeks go by without much socializing. He describes himself as an extrovert who doesn’t particularly care for people.

Phil, Paul, and Ernie just hanging out.

You can see the backyard fire pit by the lawn chairs.

Here in Bangkok, he has been pulled out of his isolation by four hours in class each day, teaching Bible stories and correcting sentences. He comes alive in the classroom—always a joke, a laugh, a comment on some arcane English idiom. I may do most of the teaching—especially in the writing class—but Phil is the spark plug. Because he comes alive, so do the students. It’s lovely to watch. He cares about them, worries about their problems, encourages and compliments them. He invites them to dinner, to outings in Bangkok, to visits with us in Minneapolis. He bonds with our church cell group, which meets every Sunday morning. He gives generously to fund the seminary education of one of the staff here. He is becoming a paragon of generosity and friendship.

I suppose my biggest challenge here has been learning to just hang out. Though I’m inherently lazy by nature, most of my adult life has been spent in a frenzy of activity—first with raising a family and working full-time, then with hosting foreign students. Perhaps because I know I’m lazy, I have an inborn fear of sitting idle (unless I’m reading or watching Suits or King the Land). Even in our quiet life in Minnesota, I feel the compulsion to make the most of my time, to be useful, to keep busy with worthwhile projects. When we return home, I’ll immediately start hundreds of seedlings for the garden, go jogging or to the gym every morning, catch up on a belated Bible study project, and resume work on a middle-grade novel. 

But in Bangkok, one of our highest priorities as teachers is to spend time with our students. Before class, after class, special school trips, impromptu outings, eating dinner out, playing games in the lobby, eating lunch together—these are all part of what we do as volunteer English teachers at Santisuk. And it’s the way we have become friends. Which is definitely the best part of our time in Thailand.

Our Level 2 afternoon class—we love meeting early just to talk.

Our church cell group and some students from writing class

on an outing to “Green Lung” Park this past Sunday.

Eating and conversing around the lunch table behind Santisuk.

What dear people these are!

Our Level I class—so much laughter in that group!

So I’ve been stretched in some very good ways as I’ve learned how to sit, listen, talk—just hang out. I don’t have to be productive, to achieve anything, to deal with an agenda. This, for me, is difficult. My love language is acts of service, so I’ve always been driven to jump up and cook or clean or be useful in some way. Slowly, I think, I’m changing, perhaps for the better. 

Phil and I have done much more “hanging out” too—going to the gym together, exploring the mall, co-teaching, wandering the small side streets in search of street food, learning to take the bus. We still both need our space occasionally, but we’re leaning on each other much more than we used to. It’s been good.

What a gift these two months have been. I hope the changes stick. And I hope we never grow too old to welcome change.